Torpid
by Gater101
Summary: OneShot Because being alone with nought but marine creatures for company was exactly what John Sheppard needed.


Title: Torpid  
Summary: Because being alone with nought for company but the multitude of marine creatures was exactly what John Sheppard needed.  
Characters: John, Graham  
Pairing: John/Teyla, John/Nancy, Teyla/Kanan.  
Rating: K  
Spoilers: Missing, Seer

He'd known from the get go that he wasn't going to enjoy it; that sitting at the edge of a pond (he couldn't even call it a lake) with a stick and some wire dipping into the water, with nought for company but the multitude of sea creatures that seemed to be expertly avoiding his line and his estranged brother who John was beginning to remember for the reasons he'd become estranged in the first place was not something he really needed to do. He sighed and took another sip of the beer that had warmed in the sun, adjusted his shades while cursing his heathen of an ex-wife.

_"It'll be fun," _she'd said and John, ridiculously, had believed her.

Who the hell went fishing these days, anyway? There were fishmongers and supermarkets for a reason. He grumbled again but Graham conveniently ignored him. This was not what John Sheppard had come to Earth for. He hadn't wanted to be stuck doing nothing at the edge of a beautiful would be lake trying to make small talk with a brother he'd not spoken to for years because they had absolutely nothing in common and thus allow his brain to think about the reason he'd come to Earth in the first place.

"Oh," he murmured and glanced at his watch. He'd managed t successfully not think about What Had Happened for almost seven minutes. He rolled his eyes at his own pathetic-ness and shoogled the line again, watching the ripples fan out across the smooth surface of the mirror like water. In the reflection he saw his brother turn to him and John glared at him from behind his black Ray-Bans.

"You're rippling my pond."

John grunted.

"_Your _pond?"

He saw Graham's eyebrow rise up above his own ridiculously large sunglasses and John turned away.

"You know what I mean."

John shook the line again, violently before leaning back against the grass, folding his arms behind his head. He'd be able to work on his tan, at least. The sun was warm beating down on his face and he was grateful that Nancy had somehow convinced him to East Coast it. He didn't think he'd be able to stick with the cooler temperatures back in Colorado where she was.

He supposed there were plenty of worse places he could be. Afghanistan... a hive ship... on Atlantis. He shifted slightly and shook his head. In a way, he supposed some senseless, purposeless, action-less time was what he needed to try and redistribute his equilibrium. At the same time though, he wasn't used to it and he was pretty sure there were plenty of better places he could be, too. With Nancy, for example, or even gambling all his earnings away in Vegas, drinking down a couple of cocktails and brews that only Nevada could conjure up with a few old acquaintances he was sure wouldn't find if he popped by to say hello.

He closed his eyes and smiled as he was greeted with scenes from him flying through the air in an Apache helicopter, the sun dipping low in the horizon behind him. He liked flying, he really did. He wondered if there was any chance that Landry would let him have a go with one of the bases helicopters again because although the Puddle Jumpers were great, there was really something special about flying unaided by mind-reading computers.

"There's a nice bar and grill not far from your hotel that we can go to for dinner, if you'd like."

He opened his eyes and turned his head in the direction of the voice, a small smile playing across his features.

"I thought you were trying to catch dinner."

He heard Graham chuckle slightly and he did too.

He closed his eyes again and shuffled to a more comfortable position. He'd only been on Earth for a few days and he was pretty damn sure he'd slept through most of his time there. His body seemed to want to lie down and go to sleep more than he'd ever done in his life. It wasn't a bad thing – not really – and he supposed that it was just his body letting itself relax after almost five years of concentrated stress.

He didn't know how long he'd been dozing before he heard his brother's voice breaking through his foggy brain and pulling him from the realms of Neverland.

"Nancy tells me you're involved with one of the women back where you're posted."

John groaned as his mind instantly projected an image of Teyla on his eyelids. He conceded, though, knowing that it must have been some kind of record for him not thinking about her since What Had Happened. He opened his eyes and sat up, pulling at a few blades of grass between his legs.

"Nah, nothing like that."

John didn't need to look at Graham to know the kind of look that would be on his face. He knew what Nancy must have told him and although he was a little angry, he knew he couldn't fault her for trying to help him.

"Oh."

John didn't look up as he shredded a blade of grass. To be honest, he wasn't sure exactly what it _was _like. When she'd shown up at his door not more than a fortnight ago, he'd thought things would change. Instead, after What Had Happened, she'd told him she was getting married and would be raising her child with Kanan, he'd felt like he'd been tricked. He knew that none of it was her fault and that he wouldn't need to be here if he hadn't pushed the issue. But he had and he was. He pursed his lips and shook his head.

He was his own worst enemy, really.

"She just gave birth to a kid a couple weeks ago." John tilted his head in Graham's direction and saw the surprise covering his face. "And no, it's not mine." He looked away. "She's getting married."

"I'm sorry."

John shook his head.

"Nah, don't be." He tossed shards of grass into the air and watched as the wind whipped them around before depositing them carelessly on the water's surface. "I'm not."

He thudded the ground next to him with his fist and lay back down, all thoughts of peace evacuating his head, leaving his mind riddled with thoughts of her and him and their child. He had to get over her. He did.

Or he wasn't sure he'd be able to handle it back on Atlantis.

And he had to because there, with her was the only place he felt was home.


End file.
